CURRENT TEAMS
Chris Flook - CFL012
When Chris Flook (aka CFLO12) isn’t doing awesome food reviews on his YouTube channel (Flukey Food 4k) he can be found on Sleeper reminding the commissioners to start and stop the draft clock. Based on the draft analyzer, Chris might be better off sticking to food though as he comes in dead fuckin’ last in the preseason power rankings. When asked to comment, Chris was not worried: “My birthday is December 12th (12/12), I was born to win this thing.” Unfortunately for Chris, his horoscope this morning said, “You shouldn’t have drafted Marquise Brown in 10 of the 12 Leagues.” When asked about his strategy to make up ground Chris commented “I am going to mass send trade offers with so many players and draft picks in them that the person receiving the offer will fall asleep while reading it and accidentally hit accept.”
Taking a look through all the drafts, Chris certainly has his go to guys that will help him boom or bust this season. In total he drafted 9 players in more than 40% of the drafts this season. Take a look at Chris’ My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Joe Somerville - Joey9Toes
When Joe Somerville (aka Joey9Toes) isn’t saving lives as an EMT, putting his kid to bed, working the night shift, cutting his grass, going for a walk, hiking through the mountains, watching a movie, going to the mall, or sneaking in a quickie with the wife, he can occasionally be found making his picks on Sleeper hours after he said he was “Looking at it”. While the league definitely got to know Joe for his poor clock management, what they didn’t realize is that Joe is actually a master con artist. He spent the better part of the draft season convincing the league that his Sleeper ID is because he in fact only has 9 toes but in reality, it was just a typo. His sleeper ID was meant to be Joey9Tes which is actually the average amount of tight ends that Joe drafted on his rosters this year.
I certainly hope that Joey is a better EMT than he is a drafter because he comes in at 11th place in the pre-season power rankings. If every league had 5 TE spots, Joe would easily have finished higher in the standings as he leads the league with 31 DIFFERENT TE’s rostered across the 12 leagues.
Other than his affinity for tight ends, Joe went with a more balanced approach in the drafts and only has six players with more than 40% ownership. Take a look at Joey’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Zane Williams - Canzane
Next up in the UFFC player profile series is one half of the commissioner duo that is responsible for putting this league together. Meet Zane Williams, aka Canzane. When he is not organizing and creating insane fantasy football leagues, Zane spends his summers at the lake and is continually “out of cell coverage” when it is his turn to pick. For someone who collects watches, I would have expected Zane to be better at turning the clock on and off every day.
As far as collections go, his collection of Fantasy Football teams in the UFFC must be his worst as Zane comes in at number 10 in the pre-season power rankings. When Zane was asked about his initial power ranking, he was not concerned. “I have run this through a dozen analyzers, and they all agree that I am in good shape.”
Looking through the draft results it appears that Zane is going for diversity as he only has higher than 40% roster share of four players. Take a look at Zane’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Steve Chama - Chams24
If you have ever been on the clock for more than 13 seconds, you have heard from Steve. Our resident clock watcher has been known to ruffle the feathers of almost everyone in the league and never shy’s away from giving you his opinion even when it hasn’t been asked for. Steve is best known for lengthy explanations of why the players he is trying to trade you are amazing and sending sometimes RE-DIC-U-LOUS trade offers.
After hearing that he came in 9th in the pre-season power rankings, Steve consulted with his family, the rest of the league, and his favorite fantasy analysts as to why he was ranked so low. Others in the league were not surprised as “Steve constantly seeks out approval for his bad picks in private messages”.
Looking through the draft results it appears that Steve insisted on reaching for his favorite Steelers early and often as his fate this season will be largely intertwined with the Black and Gold. Take a look at Steve’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Tim Kirkland - DynastyLogic
Next up in the UFFC Player Profile Series is Tim Kirkland, aka Snarkpil…oh no wait, DynastyLogic. Tim is the only player in UFFC history to change their Sleeper ID in the middle of a draft which made tagging him a painful process. Maybe he did it on purpose to prevent the notifications from waking him up as he goes to bed earlier than my 90-year-old Grandmother.
In addition to the UFFC, DynastyLogic also runs a successful series of Dynasty Leagues (Dynasty Kings) and many UFFC participants are members of them. Maybe fear of being kicked out of his leagues is the reason that nobody was willing to cough up any dirt on him. Tim was surprised when he saw his initial power rank of 8, but I’m not sure what else he expected as only one of these 12 leagues are Dynasty. Either way he must be very confident that his Dynasty Logic will translate to redraft as he volunteered to let all 11 other teams finish drafting before he took his first player in the Vampire league.
Looking through the draft results it appears that Tim had a limit on how many shares of a player he was allowed to draft as he only has one player with more than 4 shares and that is Ty Conklin, a player he picked up off waivers in almost all those leagues. Let’s look at Tim’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Johnathan Hewitt - JMoneybag94
Meet Johnathan Hewitt, aka JMoneybag94, a last-minute addition to the UFFC after a manager backed out right before the first draft. Jonathan lived up to his nickname by joining the league, immediately paying his dues and then asking, “so what type of league is this”? What we didn’t realize at the time was that this is just one of the 743,273 leagues that JMoney is in. When he finally admits that this is his favorite, we know we have our first testimonial!
Johnathan came in 6th in the preseason power rankings but when asked he claimed it should have been higher. Sources close to Johnathan claim that he is low key blaming his new child for deciding to be born in the middle of draft season. Knowing that he was trying to make his picks while running on no sleep and between contractions, makes some of his picks less head scratching.
Looking through the draft results it appears that Johnathan employed the late round QB approach, even in superflex leagues. He easily has the fewest QB’s rostered across his teams. Let’s look at JMoney’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Randall Murray - Randeezy17532
In the next edition of the UFFC player profiles we are introducing Randall Murray, aka Randeezy17532. Randall endeared himself to his UFFC peers with his quick wit and hilarious trash talk. When the league took a weekend off from drafting after nearly two months of nonstop drafts, Randall said he felt he was cheating on us to spend time with his wife!
Randall comes in at number 4 in the preseason power rankings, a number that is sure to plummet after he goes head-to-head with the commissioners FIVE times in Week 1. Edit: This comment didn’t age well! At least Randall can sleep easy knowing that none of his league mates know that he was the one that fed the most dirt on them to the commissioners.
Looking at his draft results it appears that Randeezy favors balance across his positions. He only has three players with over 40% rostership but is near the top of the league with 52 DIFFERENT wide receivers rostered. Let’s look at Randall’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Bill Copeland - BadLuckBill
Next up in the UFFC player profile series is the other half of the commissioner duo that put the UFFC together. Meet Bill Copeland, aka BadLuckBill.
Bill comes in at number 2 in the preseason power rankings and if asked about his ranking he would say “It’s all in the pre draft prep boy’s”. However, now that week 1 is done he is rethinking life as he knows it. During the drafts Bill was consistently quick to make his picks unless he was coaching baseball (you know there is cell service at the ball diamond right Bill). He could also be counted on saying “I am willing to move down here, send me our offers or I will pick in 15 min”. Now that the season has started you can count on Bill to be a willing trade partner and when you send that offer giving up CMC for Fournette you can count on him replying with “that is close, but I feel I need a bit more if I am giving up Founette”.
Looking through the draft results it appears that Bill knows who are high upside guys…..oh and then there is OBJ. One player really stand out above the rest and we are in big trouble if Brandin Cooks is WR1 this year. Let’s look at Bill’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Jake Kaufman - Obiwancannoli
Next up in the UFFC Player Profile Series is Jake Kaufman, aka Obiwancannoli. Jake claims to be a Steelers fan but based on his draft picks I don’t think that they are even his favorite team in Pennsylvania. Outside of fantasy football, Jake Kaufman is a part time actor, which I probably would have been able to figure out when he sent me 14 different options for his profile picture. According to his IMDB page he is best known for his work on “The Gloom” (2021), and “Married in a Year” (2011). Ever heard of them? Yeah, me neither.
Jake came in 7th in the preseason power rankings and has pledged to take the winner of the UFFC as his plus one if he wins an Oscar this year! No, not actually but a guy can dream right? Besides, what could go wrong with a Hurts/Reagor stack that Jake is rolling out in 4 leagues this year?
Looking through the draft results it appears that Jake believes that the only running backs he needs are 3rd down backs as Gio Bernard and JD McKissic are his two most rostered RB’s. Maybe he has a soft spot for part time running backs? Let’s look at Jake’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Mark Jones - Scatbacks
Next up in the UFFC Player Profile Series is Mark Jones, aka Scatbacks. Mark got his handle when he started fantasy 30 years ago when NFL films referred to Gayle Sayers as a scatback and he has used it ever since. All that tells me is that Mark comes in as the resident old guy in the league.
Mark comes in at number 5 in the preseason power rankings but since he has played fantasy football longer than fantasy football has been around, I expected more. What Mark lacks in draft acumen he makes up for in philanthropy as he has generously offered to donate a trophy to the winner of the UFFC! Here is hoping for Mark’s sake that nice guys don’t finish last!
Looking through the draft results it appears that Mark knows the guys he wanted and is willing to ride or die with them. He has at least 40% rostership of 8 different players this season including 5 shares of the Aaron Rodgers/Devonte Adams stack. Let’s look at Mark’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Jarrod Rodgers- Sainthead54
Meet Jarrod Rodgers, or sainthead54 as his peers in the UFFC know him. Jarrod is very calculated in his picks and wants to look at every angle, which might explain why he was one of the slower drafters this season in the UFFC. At least that’s what we thought at the time, but it turns out that Sainthead runs several restaurants and has at least 17 drafts going on at any given time.
Jarrod comes in as the bronze medalist of the pre-season power ranks and will no doubt be a force to be reckoned with this season. When his fellow UFFC league mates were asked to comment on Jarrod, nobody had much to say. I think that’s because of the rumours that Jarrod put out a hit on Travis Etienne so that his league leading 5 shares of James Robinson could become more valuable.
Looking through the draft results Sainthead let his homerism get to him by drafting several Saints players several times. Alvin Kamara, Tre’Quan Smith and Jameis Winston all highlight Jarrod’s most rostered player list. Let’s look at Jarrod’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
Joe Leistman - JL29
In the final edition of the UFFC Player Series we introduce Joe Leistman, aka JL29. Joe is one of the quieter members of the league, but he prefers to let his drafting do the talking as he comes in as the top dog in the preseason power rankings.
Joe is hoping that there isn’t a madden curse in the UFFC but when asked about it he wasn’t too concerned. Little does he know that the player that has ranked 1st in the preseason has never gone on to be the Ultimate Champion.
Looking through the draft results it appears that Joe is an equal opportunity employer. He doesn’t have more than 4 shares of any player in the league which is easily the lowest in the league. If Joe is going to be bumped from the top spot it is going to take more than an injury to a key player. Let’s look at Joe’s My Guys for the 2021 Season!
